“Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahin.”
[Life must be grand, not long.]
I’ve heard this line - first popularized by Bollywood actor Rajesh Khanna - a few times before. But this time, the context gave it newfound depth.
This was the opening line of a dear friend’s speech, at the memorial of her recently and unexpectedly deceased partner. It was the last thing I expected to hear at such a solemn occasion.
A part of me tried to fight back tears. But the rest of me applauded her for celebrating his life, and honoring the way he had embraced the good times.
That morning at the memorial brought back vivid memories from a chance encounter in Honduras many years ago. Not far from the Caribbean Sea, we were living for a while in the protected Pico Bonito rainforest - seeking swimming holes, ziplines, cloud forests, and other wild ways of nature.
While struggling with a precarious river crossing, two guys appeared out of nowhere, and showed us an easier path. We got chatting, and I quickly learnt that they belonged to the Garifuna community - with mixed Caribbean, African and indigenous American ancestry. We talked about their traditional food (Garifuna literally means the cassava-eating people), and relationship with the forest. Then one of them casually mentioned that he had to leave soon, to attend the funeral of a “good man,” who was like his brother.
I floundered around as I tried to offer my condolences, but he sort of dismissed them.
The two then went on to explain that death isn’t the end of life at all.
For the Garifuna people, death is a time of celebration, a last hurrah to send off the departed. “We don’t cry,” they told me. Instead, grieving involves sharing stories of the departed, aided by music and lighthearted humor - until the soul is ready to accept help from the living and begin its journey, 9 days later.
The 9th night is like an all-night-long goodbye party. There’s plenty of food (yes, cassava!), rum, drums, Punta music and dancing - and everyone is welcome to join the feast. As the darkness gives way to light, the soul finds its way.
I’ve thought about the Garifuna - and about death - many times since that day in Honduras. It’s the way I’d like to say goodbye, and the way I’d like to remember those who must say it before me.
I must confess I’m not there yet. I’m still processing what it means to lose a friend in his mid-thirties. But I’m finding solace in his approach to life, and in the Garifunas’ approach to death.
If life must be grand, shouldn’t death be too?
Have you come across interesting beliefs and traditions around death?
February recommendations
Conscious travel recommendations, eco-friendly finds and meaningful opportunities, as well as articles, books and films that’ve inspired me.
Travel:
Before the scorching summer heat hits Southern India, spend time in the wilderness of Kerala, Karnataka, Maharashtra and South Goa. Some of my favorite ecolodges, homestays and community tourism initiatives:
Grassroutes Journeys (Rural Maharashtra)
Mangaal Farmstay (South Goa)
Swaswara (Gokarna, Karnataka)
Indhrivanam (Thekkady, Kerala)
Evolve Back Kabini (Kabini, Karnataka)
Read:
My uncle gifted me a copy of Rumi: Tales to Live By, with the caveat that it’s not for everyone. If you’re inclined towards Rumi’s work, or any form of spirituality, this book is a keeper. Rumi’s short stories are set in another era, but author Kamla Kapur’s commentary on every story makes it feel relevant to our contemporary lives. Some of these stories though, might only make sense to us at certain junctures in life.
Opportunities:
Fellowship coordinator at Voices of Rural India: Relocate for a year to a stunning mountain village in the Uttarakhand Himalayas, to drive a one-of-a-kind digital storytelling fellowship for tourism-dependent rural communities.
Research and communications intern at Climate Conscious Travel: A remote internship program for enrolled students and recent graduates at my recently established consultancy, with the opportunity to work across a range of sustainable tourism and storytelling projects.
Freelance social media manager at Kipepeo: A responsible travel company specializing in travel to Northeast India is looking for someone with experience in and passion for social media, to help them build meaningful connections with their audience.
My stories elsewhere
Stories I’ve written recently, as well as social media posts I’d love for you to check out.
Stories:
Blog:
Why You Should Stay on a “Local Island” to Truly Experience the Maldives
11 Incredible Experiences That’ll Make You Fall in Love with Uzbekistan
Instagram:
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